I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize
