I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Say something about gay babies.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
