My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
