Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
