____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
