Dual....:-)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
