You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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