I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
