dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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