I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
