I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They are going to name an STD after you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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