In America we eat man semen.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
