does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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