i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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