remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
