I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Found your dick twin last night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize