how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
