My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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