gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I feel great
I just peed on a car
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
