her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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