ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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