Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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