:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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