How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
