You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
