so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
