Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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