Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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