you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
