Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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