I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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