Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
