I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
tell me about the fingering
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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