We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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