sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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