batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
im on a boat
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