So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
