worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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