I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
