im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hello my rib-scented angel!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
