your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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