a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
