why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
