Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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