If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
