the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
