it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
