i think my tv is drunk
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
