so explain again why im purple
no
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
