Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
