dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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