ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
