they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
