New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
