You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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