i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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