You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
