...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize