im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
