just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize